Hmmm...

At present moment, I kind of wonder what the heck it is I'm doing. 

Really.

I'm taking classes so I can apply to nursing school for the class starting in fall 2012. 

But is it really what I want to/should do?

Or is it just something I'm doing because I always thought I would do it, because it presents the facade of being "secure"? (I'm not entirely naive, nothing is really secure.)

I've told a few people, but if I could do anything without thinking about limitations, I would be a singer/songwriter (or their assistant or something to that extent) who got to travel a good portion of the year, playing a different city every week, traveling a few days a week, and loving people in the communities we're visiting a few days a week.

Basically, I feel the need to be doing something creative. 

Conversely, I feel the need to be doing something that deeply affects the small group of people I'm able to have contact with. And sometimes I even feel like it shouldn't just be a small group of people. 

But I can do something creative in my spare time, I suppose...

It would help if I could properly identify my giftings, those things I'm just naturally good at.

I can throw myself into practically anything and make it happen if need be.

God, can You just send me a husband with a vision I connect really well with? Soon? Then I can back him in whatever he's doing. I can back vision. But when it comes to having my own... I just know I'm supposed to love the people around me, and try to listen to and do whatever God asks me to. Beyond that, there are snippets of time when my heart really comes alive. And I don't know if I'm supposed to attempt to capitalize on those moments or not (it's hard to pinpoint exactly what they are sometimes). 

I don't want the American dream. I don't care about making a lot of money. All I need is enough. 

I know God will take care of me, somehow.

But right now, I don't really know what I'm doing.