Happiness is the Wrong Goal

It's still the first month of the year, and every year I hear one resolution that I just can't get down with:

Happiness.

Now, before you go calling me a cynic, let me explain...

I'm all about being happy.

Happiness is a good thing and a very legitimate desire.

Some days, I deeply desire to be happy.

But happiness is never my ultimate goal.

Why?

Because it's a feeling.

Quite bluntly, there are moments when life just sucks.

At least once a week I wonder what the heck I'm doing.

In those moments, I generally have no control.

And in those moments, I do not expect happiness to be rampant.

What I do expect is to stand on my principles.

I expect to remain positive while still being realistic.

I expect to think critically and act on fact rather than emotion.

Because acting on facts will ultimately lead to greater satisfaction.

And greater satisfaction will beget more moments of happiness.

All I'm saying here is that if my goal were simply to be happy, I would go around making decisions in this moment about things that I think would make me happy.

But at the end of the day, being with someone or having my dream career will not make me happy if I can't stand firm on my principles now. 

Choosing to seek happiness by doing whatever makes me feel good now will surely lead to ruin later.

This isn't me saying don't do things that make you feel good.

You should absolutely take time out for those things.

But when you're upset with someone, choose to love them anyway.

Don't go running to someone you shouldn't for happiness and affection.

And when the day doesn't go your way, choose to see the good in it.

Don't go running around saying that all you want is to be happy and nothing ever goes your way.

Because happiness simply does not work like that.

It's sadly often not a free gift.

It's something that must be cultivated, wrought from pain, wielded from the darkest of nights, and harnessed to shine from within, not gathered from the world around us.