Heat.

I used to think when someone said something in the "heat of the moment" they actually meant it at some subconscious level but were just never able to say it under normal circumstances.

But I'm not sure I believe that anymore.

I think those moments bring to light our greatest insecurities and illuminate the struggles we've worked so hard to get past.

In the "moment," whatever that moment may be, our guards are down.

A small bit of us is back to being that kid that struggled to make friends or that guy who just missed the cut.

Briefly, we're thrown back into all our old battles. 

And sometimes, we let our feet sit there and sink in.

We may even wiggle our toes a little.

But after we get a good slap in the face and shake our heads, we realize that those words came from the fleeting moment of insecurity we had.

They don't actually mean we've relapsed.

They just mean that, for a moment, we forgot that we decided to trust in something more than our insecurities, something bigger than our smallest selves.

And I think that's okay.

So long as we continue to fall forward, not letting our feet sink into the muck, not letting it get up to our necks.

It's hard to be human.

It's hard to be strong in every single moment.

So stand back up.

Brush off the sand.

And remember the truth.

You are loved.

You are wanted.

You are insanely valuable beyond all compare.

And nothing you've done yesterday or today or will do tomorrow can separate you from the awing love of the One who created you.

Absolutely nothing.

Happiness is the Wrong Goal

It's still the first month of the year, and every year I hear one resolution that I just can't get down with:

Happiness.

Now, before you go calling me a cynic, let me explain...

I'm all about being happy.

Happiness is a good thing and a very legitimate desire.

Some days, I deeply desire to be happy.

But happiness is never my ultimate goal.

Why?

Because it's a feeling.

Quite bluntly, there are moments when life just sucks.

At least once a week I wonder what the heck I'm doing.

In those moments, I generally have no control.

And in those moments, I do not expect happiness to be rampant.

What I do expect is to stand on my principles.

I expect to remain positive while still being realistic.

I expect to think critically and act on fact rather than emotion.

Because acting on facts will ultimately lead to greater satisfaction.

And greater satisfaction will beget more moments of happiness.

All I'm saying here is that if my goal were simply to be happy, I would go around making decisions in this moment about things that I think would make me happy.

But at the end of the day, being with someone or having my dream career will not make me happy if I can't stand firm on my principles now. 

Choosing to seek happiness by doing whatever makes me feel good now will surely lead to ruin later.

This isn't me saying don't do things that make you feel good.

You should absolutely take time out for those things.

But when you're upset with someone, choose to love them anyway.

Don't go running to someone you shouldn't for happiness and affection.

And when the day doesn't go your way, choose to see the good in it.

Don't go running around saying that all you want is to be happy and nothing ever goes your way.

Because happiness simply does not work like that.

It's sadly often not a free gift.

It's something that must be cultivated, wrought from pain, wielded from the darkest of nights, and harnessed to shine from within, not gathered from the world around us.