The Invisible Line

There's an invisible line that exists in a relationship between a man and a woman. It is the line which distinguishes whether the relationship is a friendship or a romance. Depending on the relationship, that line is clearly marked right away. But sometimes, it takes years to define. Inevitably, when you allow yourself to get close to someone of the opposite gender, romantic feelings develop to some capacity, even if they are just fleeting. It gets dangerous when those feelings appear in both parties at the same time, yet neither say a thing about them.

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It's hard to say exactly when I crossed that line with one of my closest friends, but I know it was over a year ago. And I know I wasn't the only one.

The strangest part about it: we didn't do anything that abruptly announced it to the world. But in our minds, in our hearts, we both went there; we both stepped over the line. And instead of saying something about it, we pretended nothing happened, hoping we could just enjoy where we were and that the line would just dissolve, becoming invisible.

Now, in this case, there were stipulations preventing us from saying anything or going any further than we did, but that doesn't change that this has been an incredibly murky pond to wade through without any sort of definition or direction to go off of. It would have been so helpful if one of us would have spoken up as soon as we noticed something, if nothing else just to define our relationship as only a friendship. Because today, today my heart hurts. And even though I feel slightly lead on, I have no one to blame but myself.

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And though there are many questions I would like to ask, I know God's timing is perfect; this just isn't quite His timing for my earthly love story. And even though it hurts some, I'm completely okay with that. Because what He has is incredibly worth the wait and so much more than I could ever imagine.