Control

I wonder how much time the disciples actually had to themselves.

Did they read? 

Did they journal? 

Did they devote time and attention to bettering themselves?

Or did they just simply love and simply live?

I think most of the time, they were simply with the people they were with.

They served those around them.

They didn't worry about being the most studied, the best politician, the most admired.

They just were.

Don't worry.

I'm not about to abandon ship and forget my education is important to obtain, especially because it's one of those things that will better countless around me.

But I can definitely lay off the comparing thoughts, the ones that say I'm not doing as much as those around me to fill my mind with crazy amounts of knowledge.

I would so much rather be out loving people than cooped up in my house reading a book a day.

Besides, I'm pretty sure hoarding knowledge in my mind and never using it is a bit on the hypocritical side.

Today, I'm reminded there were scars before my scars.

And I'm letting a little bit more go.

Reminding myself  just be.