beautiful.i.am

Why do we search so long?
To be affirmed. To be told something that's already true.
To hear that we're beautiful.

Innately, we are selfish.
We are born believing we're awesome, the most beautiful creatures to grace the planet.
But it doesn't stay that way.
Somewhere between the terrible two's and the tweenage years, we discover something heart wrenching: we're ugly, unlovable, unworthy.
The extent of this thinking depends on how much reinforcement these lies receive.
And how well we're able to throw them out of our minds.
But to some degree, they stick, and the need to eradicate them, to prove them wrong to ourselves, is something we succumb to.

I'll be the first to admit I've done some seriously stupid things in the name of beauty.
In the name of needing to feel loved, cherished, beautiful, wanted, delighted in...
Even though I knew it would be fleeting, at best, I still gave in.
For a long time, I didn't even see what I was doing to myself; or maybe I just didn't care. 
Because in that moment, I was wanted, even though I didn't always feel beautiful.

And I wonder...
How could it have been different?

I know we can't change the past, but we can change the future. 
We can turn our negative thoughts into positive ones.
We can lift up the good in those around us.
We can learn to see the good in ourselves.
And we can begin to see these "flaws" in one another for what they truly are: different ways to be human.

Because your kind word, your simple statement of truth, could be what someone needs to get through today.
And tomorrow.
 And the day after that. 
It could be what forever changes their heart and the way they view, not only themselves, but others.

Are you willing to speak up?
To speak out?
To tell someone they are lovely in every way and let yourself believe it?

Your words, thoughts, and deeds are far more powerful than you know.
Don't underestimate them.



Magic

For the first time in my life, I can wholeheartedly say I'm not focused on any guy.
I'm not chasing any lovers. 
I'm free from the bone-crushing loneliness I once felt almost every night.
And it's amazing.

Yes, I still want a man to love me.
Some day.
But it's not so important that someone loves me as it is that I feel loved.
It's not worth settling to be seated next to man.
I would rather wait a thousand years seated alone than be with a man who isn't good to me.

Real love is always others' minded; it does not seek self over anything or anyone else.
And when two real loves work in conjunction with each other, the result is like magic.
Life is too short to be in a love relationship that isn't like magic. 

Just a Whisper


What is a life? What is death?
Is someone else’s existence really mine to hold?

I have a very different view on life and death than most people I’ve encountered.

Guess what?
Life is fragile.
All the time.
It’s a fragile, priceless gift.
A gift that we’ve been given freely.

We aren’t promised that it will be easy or that it’ll last as long as we think it should.
And when someone passes, we have no control over it.
Instead of being pissed off because I want someone back or I don’t think they had enough time on this earth, I am thankful.
I’m thankful for whatever amount of time I have been given with that person.
Every moment we shared was a gift.
Their life was never mine to hold.
But I’m so thankful I got share even a small piece of it.

Life happens.
Which means death happens.
It’s all just a part of how things work.
Life is but a whisper, a wilting flower fading with the grass.
Listen to the whispers around you.
They’re more valuable than you can imagine.